Fun Times at Barnes & Noble

I may be on a yarn diet, but I'm not on a book diet. And if the book is about yarn & knitting, so much the better. I kind of feel like I got over on someone that way. I cannot pass up $1 books, especially when they used to be $30+. Not these little knit books, but a couple others that I picked up had been much more.

My bookstore plan was to: load up on mags & books, then sit in the children's area & read while C played with the Thomas the Train set that Barnes & Noble very conveniently places there for the sanity of all parents. That's what we usually do. However, C had very different plans. His bookstore plan was: Lull Mom into a false sense of serenity, then, just when she's good & settled, act like a total goober. That means scream for no reason & whatever she does to appease you, yell for the opposite. When she picks you up, scream to be put down; the moment your toes touch the floor, holler to be picked back up.

Mm hmm, fun times, people, fuuuuuunnnnnn times.

Skip to Plan B: Zoom to the register with armful of books (hey, if I don't like it, it's only $1, it can be passed on), thank goodness I remembered deodorant this morning because now I am hot & sweaty (did I just give new meaning to the phrase "hot mama"?), pay for books while completely ignoring the Look of Pity the (undoubtedly childless) clerk is bestowing upon me & run out the door, hiding behind bags because I don't want people to identify me later.

See that book that says "simple knits for little cherubs"? Change "cherub" to "spawn from child hell" & you'll know who I'm knitting for.

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May I borrow your GAYdar? Mine's broken

Lance Bass?? Who knew?

I wonder if these gloves are hand-knit--------------->

My friends often tease me when I don't know someone is gay, usually a celebrity. I don't care what people do with their private lives, so when I do find out someone is gay, it's no big deal. They just can't believe I didn't know certain people were gay. Like George Michael. Even when "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" was all over MTV & he was prancing around in "go-go" shorts, I refused to believe it. Because I happen to think he's gorgeous (after he discovered tweezers or that Big Bucket o' Wax or whatever got rid of that Unibrow) & sometimes, we girls like to keep all the beautiful men to ourselves, even when we don't stand a chance.

So imagine my surprise in finding out Tom Ford is gay. This happened years ago; I was reading Vogue & there was a layout on Mr. (I'm the only man in the world who can unbutton my shirt to my navel & not look cheesy) Ford. So I'm reading & enjoying the photos because Tom Ford is handsome. Classically so. Then I come to a photo of Tom & another man lounging on a bed together. I read the caption, which says "Tom Ford & his partner (whatever the name)" & I'm thinking "oh, his business partner." I keep reading & it says "...his partner & their dog..." And I'm like "their dog." THEIR dog?? THEIR is a couple word, OMIGODTOMFORDISGAY!!!!!!! I think I sat in mourning the rest of the week.

2 glaring clues that DENIAL is not just a river in Egypt with me:

1. I see Tom posed on a bed with another man, knowing that most straight guys would rather pose with a starving tiger than even touch the same bed that another man is touching.

2. The term "partner" & how quickly I applied it to business, instead of intimate relations.

However, I'm glad I was finally (FINALLY) able to pick up on the "their dog" clue. I'm sure Vogue threw that in for all of us naive women out there who were still clinging to that last shred of hope that perhaps Tom was straight. Oh well...

We'd still like you on our team, Mr. Ford

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I am in love...

...with the 3-needle bind off. See how neat this is? Best part: no seaming!

outside of mystery project

inside of mystery project

Like several other knitting concepts, this is my first time doing this. Back in January of this year, I decided I would be more adventurous with my knitting. Before, because I was afraid of making mistakes & having to rip, I mainly did very simple projects like scarves & dishcloths. Besides the 3-needle bind-off, I wanted to list all of the new things I did this year:

1. Knit a sock with a short row heel
2. Purled through the back loop (I had to reference Vogue Knitting for that one because it's a little more complex than knitting through the back loop)
3. Knitted articles of clothing other than socks
4. 1x1 rib cast-on
5. Knit a lace project
6. Knit cables
7. Knit patterned socks
8. Did fringe

There may be more, but these were the most obvious.

On to more Fearless Knitting!

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The Little Red Cardigan

Cardi for my cousin's baby

Pattern: Jacket with Seed-Stitch Bands
From: Baby Knits for Beginners by Debbie Bliss
Yarn: Encore DK in red

I didn't knit this in 1 weekend, but I think it's doable, if you can knit uninterrupted. I'm proud of the seaming job I did, considering that seaming is the least favorite part of finishing for me. And I love these heart buttons I found in Wally World (less than $2).

Best part of all: I'm way ahead of schedule because the baby shower is in September. The world must be coming to an end for me to get a project finished so far ahead. I'm planning a few little things in the meantime, but if I find another baby pattern that moves me, I may knit the little one something else. Although I would love to do a blanket, I don't know if that's going to be possible.

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Thank You Thank You Thank You

I received these goodies over the weekend, a package from my Secret Sistah Friend.

This is a fragrance diffuser, with accompanying Jasmine oil, to make the house smell yummy. Plus, a cute little bookmark which I will definitely use!

What's in this sassy little package?

My very first decorative stitch markers, that's what. They're one of those things that's great to receive as a gift, but I never buy myself. Aren't they beautiful? And look at this yarn! 10 skeins of Alpaca Ware Superfine Alpaca--I love this color! And it is dreamy soft.

Secret Sistah, I LOVE EVERYTHING!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! I have definitely been spoiled! *insert big cheesy grin right here* Can I say THANK YOU again???

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You are so beautiful, to me...

Day #6: 0 accidents

Because not having to buy Pampers anymore will feel so good.

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Busted!

What does "unfaithful" mean, exactly? Especially when it comes to yarn.

Cardi is all but waving this little number in my face, while saying "what's this, huh? Huh? I thought I was the only one for you." *sigh*

I was doing so well, sticking to the baby cardigan, this close to finishing. Then I flipped through an old Interweave Knits & found some socks I really liked. Really.

On the side, I cast on. That's all, just cast-on because it calls for a 1x1 rib cast-on & that's new to me. And maybe I swatched late last night, too. But you have no evidence of that! All I can say in my defense, Cardi, is "It was only a cast-on, just to practice the 1x1 rib." But look at these socks, they're gorgeous! Do you see the legs on these socks? Plus, this yarn is Opal; it's my first time using it & I just love it. The color is a soft, dusty rose, which is perfect for my current calm mood.

Worst of all, these socks aren't even intended for me--I'm making them for my SIL's birthday in September. I think that bit of planning ahead should make up for the fact that I'm cheating on Cardi.

Maybe if I buy the perfect buttons, Cardi will forgive me.


<-------Irresistable!

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So THIS is what monogamy feels like

Back & beginning of left front of cardi

I never thought I'd be one of those monogamous knitters, those knitters who are about as mythical as the unicorn. They only work on 1 project at a time until it's finished & then move on to something else. Weird. I'm a unicorn.

LOE is temporarily at bay (I locked her in a closet). I'm working the left front of the baby cardigan; this is really a quick knit--it could definitely be a weekend knit if you were determined & all that. However, this is cozy's household, where the most determined person is C, the 18 month-old. We're potty-training C, which is actually going way better than expected--day #3 & he has more dry runs than accidents (I think that's pretty darn good). Because I now have Old Lady Mind, I can only focus on a minimal number of things.

Therefore, 1 WIP in the midst of All Things Pee-Pee is about all I can handle. I can't wait to be a promiscuous knitter again.

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Have you seen my Enthusiasm?

Someone has moved into my house & I'm trying to get rid of her, but she's hard to get rid of. Her name is Lack of Enthusiasm (LOE) & she's affecting my knitting.

I have almost zero desire to knit right now & I can't figure out why. I could blame it on the heat, but I spend the majority of my days in air-conditioned comfort. So I blame it on my unwelcome houseguest, LOE.

We had welcome houseguests this past weekend, however, so I didn't knit until this morning, where I did a few rows, then put it down. I would like to start a sock, but LOE keeps telling me not to. She says things like "why knit socks when you can buy them cheaper?" *she's crazy* I'm hoping when the Fall issue of Interweave Knits arrives, I'll be able to beat LOE about the head with it & drive her away. The preview looks exciting.

In the meantime, I've been doing a lot of other things, so maybe I should be thankful. LOE has not affected my ability to work on my book & as that is really the most important WIP in my life right now, I'm very happy for that.

Once my book is finished, maybe LOE will stop leaving wet towels around, dirty plates in the sink & using all the hot water. She's really a pest.

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Thanks, I needed that

*whew* I needed a break to take care of some things, namely my novel, which I'm trying to finalize. Yes, are you surprised that I do other things besides knit? DH is.

I'm currently seeking a literary agent to help me get published because that's pretty much how publishing works these days--you need an agent, especially if you plan to even get a toe in the Big Name Publishing Houses.

I thought I'd have more downtime to knit this past week, but I didn't. However, I did really start to hate the baby blanket. I even started sewing blocks together to see how it would look (I surprised myself with that little bit of forethought; thanks for the suggestion, Nikki) & my reaction was less than enthused. I haven't frogged it yet (all that Yummy Acrylic--ha!--will go toward charity knits), but stuffed it somewhere dark where I didn't have to gaze upon all its pastel-ly goodness.

To heal from that, I started on the baby cardigan, which is exciting me more. For one, it's bright red, not pastel pink &, more importantly, it's small. I knew things were going downhill on the blanket when I started feeling peeved toward the expectant mother--like, hel-LOOOOO, you are interrupting my Christmas knitting with your fertility; could you tell me when you & DH are planning to conceive next time so that I can pencil you in? Plus, I could only visualize how fantastic I will look at the baby shower when people ooh & ahhh over my knitting expertise. (Is that wrong?)

So while I seek out another blanket pattern (maybe), I'm contenting myself with the cardi & hoping it will pull me out of this current knitting funk I seem to be in.

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Taking a break

I'll be away for a week or so. Not away away, but away from blogging for a bit. I have to work on some other projects, rearrange priorities & stuff; I'll still be checking into your blogs, though, and I'll definitely be knitting.

Have a great weekend & wonderful week!

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I fought the yarn & the yarn won

Knitwear Designers everywhere, you have my undying respect for all that you do. Do you ever.

In these pictures, you see my humble attempt to make a top for myself. Nothing fancy, just a simple, stockinette halter top for myself. No sleeves, no lacework (other than that required for the picot hem). But it has to fit, so I have to make calculations. I want it shaped at the waist, so that's more calculations. I have to figure out where to stop the back, so guess what--more calculations. You see those scribbled upon papers? That's all the (four-letter word coming up) MATH that I had to do. As a non-mathematical person, I arrange my life so that it involves as little math as possible.

I knew soon after starting that I would frog this, that this was only a prototype & that's because my decreases were going all wonky. I made sure to use a right-leaning decrease & left-leaning decrease on the appropriate sides because I wanted it to lean in nicely, but I don't know what happened. I was mentally prepared to work it up & frog anyway & then, I just got sick of it! I just wanted it off my needles.

(The next part is kind of fuzzy because I met a man named Mr. Martini and his 2 brothers...let's just say the halter was frogged in a nice, civilized manner & leave it at that. Oh, and maybe I was giggling a little too much & said "shaken, not stirred" about 900 times--with increasing amusement each time--just maybe.)

But I'm no quitter. I'm going to work the top up again, but I'm going to knit it flat--hopefully, the decreases will look better that way. And then I'll have to do what I was trying to avoid by knitting it on circulars in the first place...SEAM the sides. However, I'm not doing that today. Right now, all I have on the needles is the baby blanket & believe it or not, for the first time, knitting monogamy feels pretty good.

I never would've done anything like this before this year...back in January, I told myself to be more fearless with my knitting because prior to that, I was so afraid to make mistakes & hated frogging, so I feel this is a giant step forward for me. BTW, I am writing everything down & if all goes well, I may work up a pattern for the top.

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Do these feet look toasty or what?

DH wears the socks! He actually said they're extremely comfortable...but it's too hot to wear them now. I understand. We live in Florida, it's summertime & 90+ degrees & wool socks don't exactly make the best match. Plus, even though the yarn is fingering weight, the socks are still thicker than his usual (excuse my French) storebought ones. But he likes them & that's what's important. Come the cooler weather, he said he'll wear them all the time.

Next post: The Test Halter Top or How my Weekend Turned into One Big Martini After Another.

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